Being a grandmother in this day and age isn’t the same as when you raised your kids. Explore how it affects mid-life and learn how to be the best you can be.
Disclosure: Crunchy Menopause is a professional review site that receives compensation from the companies whose products I review on this website. Each product has been tested thoroughly and has been given high marks only if it really is the best. Crunchy Menopause is independently owned and the opinions expressed here are my own. That means, if you purchase something through one of my links, I get money for it. ~ Sincerely, Kat
Mid-life is full of change.
Everything turns upside-down!
Your life, your health, your job, your family.
The house is full one moment, then empty the next.
You blink and your children grow up. Its bitter-sweet. You want your children to be successful, grow up into adults who function independently in society, but secretly you want to hold them in your arms forever.
But it’s not possible.
You can’t hold your children back. You can’t keep them small. You can’t rock your baby forever. Babies really don’t keep. They grow up.
All mothers will find themselves with empty arms sooner or later.
For me, that happened too quickly. Like a dummy I had all my kids close together like everyone told me I should. That just means they will leave at the same time, or one after another, ripping your heart out. It will hit you suddenly, and you won’t be ready.
Not a pretty picture.
And for a time, you will struggle silently. You will feel like you’re the only one going through it. You will cry by yourself as you go through old photos of your kids when they were young. Nostalgia isn’t always good, and your husband will tell you so very quickly.
You will wonder why he doesn’t seem to be affected.
For some women, they will go through a lull. A short time, that seems like eternity where you will hover in no-man’s-land without a purpose. You will wonder why this is happening to you. You will not be able to escape the incredible loneliness.
But there is hope.
The short-lived lull some dub as empty-nest syndrome, will come to a sudden halt one day when you receive the blessed news of your first expected grandchild. Your heart will race, and you will be ecstatic at your new found role.
You remember raising your own babies like it was yesterday, and go through a gamut of emotion almost as if you yourself were having the baby.
But you’re not! So don’t even go there!
Seriously though, all those feelings of when you were expecting will come flooding back, and you won’t know what to do with them except to give advice to the new mother-to-be. Your daughter, or daughter-in-law.
And I don’t know how many times you will say, “My baby’s having a baby!”
A daughter definitely needs her mother at this time!
But what do you know about having a baby this day and age? Pregnancy is pregnancy right? Child rearing is child rearing. If there’s anything constant in this world, it’s having babies, birthing babies, and raising little ones.
Yes! You’re wrong!
Hard to grasp, but this is the ugly truth. Times have changed!
Did I burst your bubble?
I would like to think that all my age-old advice was adsorbed by my adult children like when they were young, but they are adults now and no longer impressionable. They have their own independent minds and they sometimes know more than us when it comes to child rearing.
But how can that be?
Simply put, things change, and so must you if you’re going to be a grandma.
YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDMA!
And be prepared, because as a friend of mine put it, when the first one comes along, the rest start coming like flies. Before you know it, you will be a grandma of 2, 3, 4, or more.
So, you have to be prepared.
I thought I was, but I was sadly mistaken. What was popular in the 80’s is not popular now. That’s common sense. But sometimes we don’t use common sense when it’s something we feel we have a lot of knowledge about.
My advice was no longer relevant.
You don’t put a baby to sleep on its tummy anymore like we did in the old days.
Cloth diapers are not the same. What’s with all the snaps and inserts. In my day we had a square of flannelette that we folded up, or like me, I sewed my own cloth diapers. I had used velcro to fasten them, or the good old-fashioned diaper pin.
And why no more rubber pants?
My kids lived in them all through the 90’s. Nowadays, it’s all in one, and expensive to buy cloth diapers. I’ve been told that it’s worth it though. But I can’t help but remember the simpler times when ‘worth it’ meant DIY diapers like I made. I cut up old towels and used them for the inserts, that were sewn right into the diaper.
The endless hours of stuffing inserts into cloth diapers didn’t even exist.
And store bought diapers? Don’t even get me started. I remember going to the store when my first grandson was about to be born. I wanted to buy a set of disposables but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out which ones. There are so many kinds these days and I didn’t want to make a mistake, or look like a dummy.
I asked a young mom beside me, what kind of disposables I needed to buy for a newborn. Right away she asked me if it was a boy or girl. Well, he hadn’t been born yet, but we were told his gender ahead of time.
Another huge change?
Knowing the gender ahead of time is the norm now I guess, and I respect that. But I also enjoy not knowing, and appreciate those who don’t want to find out like the good ole days.
Getting back to the diapers. The young mother in the store laughed at me and told me it must be confusing because things have changed so much. She handed me ‘boy’ diapers. Now that seemed silly to me. In my day, a diaper was a diaper and it wasn’t gender specific.
And my goodness are diapers ever expensive! I don’t know how young families even afford it these days. One must mortgage their own children just to afford diapers. It’s crazy!
And what is this giraffe toy they all seem to carry?
Or teething beads?
Or a sleep sack?
Or a bumbo chair?
And what does ‘wearing’ your baby mean? Is that a snuggly?
And a dayhome? We called it daycare?
Ugh! So many things have changed!
Do you find yourself scrambling for information you thought you already knew?
Well I did.
And then I found the greatest book ever written. I didn’t even hesitate to purchase it. It was the only time my one-click, impulse buying on Amazon, was actually a good thing.
Click on the picture below to go to Amazon.
Click Here For More Info On Amazon
When it arrived in the mail, I read it immediately. My eyes were opened to this new generation of moms, and I now use it as a reference book for all three of my grandchildren.
Yes three! …and counting.
Remember, they’re like flies!
And so my dear mid-lifer, I just want to say, take the help. Read, read, and then read again. Buy the book, study it from cover to cover, and then rise up and call yourself by name.