How to cope with a mid-life crisis, getting old, menopause, and the many changes of a woman’s life, by finding new hobbies.
You wake up one morning and you realize your hands are no longer busy.
Nobody is sitting at the table for a meal.
Your house is unusually quiet since your kids left home.
You find yourself wondering where life went.
Gone are the days when teenagers filled your house with drama, or little ones played.
And now you’re sad.
Up till this point, you had a purpose – Be a mom, take care of the kids, do the grocery shopping, make the meals. But now your job seems non-existent.
You feel useless and seem to have lost yourself.
Sure, you get little glimmers of hope when your adult children decide to come visit. Probably it’s not enough. And when they do come over, you smother them with hugs and kisses because you’ve missed them so much.
You get labeled a crazy mom, a clingy mom, a mom without a life. And sure, for the most part that’s probably true, because they were your everything. Not only have you spent your entire life dedicated to taking care of your family, but you’ve put your own desires on the back burner in hopes to come back to it one day.
But that one day never came, and in the process, you lost yourself.
What was it you used to do? What was it you used to love? Do you even remember? It’s been so long since you thought of yourself that it doesn’t even seem natural.
Then one day, bam! You become a grandmother.
With sentiment, you review the stages of life you’ve been through. You envision your own hands as a child, growing into the adult hands of a new mother holding her baby. Then you see the wrinkled unrecognizable hands of an older woman and can’t believe they’re your own. But you’re still excited about this new role even though it’s unfamiliar. You are a grandmother!
You suddenly perk up, thinking life is going to return to some kind of normalcy again, because the kids have come home in a sense. But sadly, it’s only temporary, and these kids are not your own. They are, but they clearly aren’t.
They belong to your adult kids, and as much as you love your grandkids, you have to hand them back. You start thinking of babies again, and fondly remember that stage in your life, and secretly wish you could have one more. Just one more.
Many older women wish they could go back to that time when they were pregnant, nursing, rocking babies, and running after a toddler. In retrospect, we would appreciate that stage way more than we did. It was a simple time when a woman’s life was well defined.
You can’t get that back, and you can’t duplicate it.
If only you would’ve known then what you know now. Regret. If you could tell your younger self one thing it would be to enjoy your children, because children don’t keep. They grow up. And then one day, life as you know it will end, and you won’t be able to stop it. Suddenly you will find yourself unprepared for the next stage.
And what is that stage exactly? Well, it hits everyone differently and at different times, but most of us know it as menopause or the change-of-life. Often it comes right in the middle of your kids having kids.
How unfair is that!
As if it wasn’t cruel enough, you are faced with a realization that you will never have another child, ever! That’s a whole other sad, depending on your circumstance.
To top it off, your body starts misbehaving. Every part of you is out of sync. You wonder if you’re going mad, dying, or both.
You try and make sense of it, but there is no sense to be had. Finally, you realize if you’re going to survive, you’re going to have to reinvent yourself.
That’s the hard part.
Number one on your list should be YOU.
That isn’t easy after spending a lifetime putting yourself last on the list. But you CAN do it, one baby step at a time.
You must find yourself again!
You must remember what you like, what you’re passionate about, and what you love about yourself.
I wish I could tell you it’s a speedy transition, but it isn’t. It takes time to find yourself, and that’s why you need to explore. Try doing things you never did before. Try everything!
Join a choir or a play.
Paint a picture.
Go on a vacation and play.
You won’t find out who you are if you don’t try.
Then little by little, you will discover that lost part of yourself that didn’t get a chance to blossom, or that part of yourself that you never knew existed.
And once you do, you will realize your youthfulness will return.
You will feel vibrant and energetic again. You will no longer dote over your adult children or grandchildren anymore, making a pest of yourself, or smothering those you love.
When you find out what your interests are and discover passions and hobbies, it’s far more effective than any supplement or medication on the market. Ultimately, it’s the most natural remedy of them all.
Your mental health is far more important than you realize.
If you’re happy, your body will be happy too, and function far better than expected.
So, if you want to feel well and breeze through menopause, or empty nest syndrome, or a midlife crisis, then get busy. Do things! Find that hobby you’ve been searching for. Start a business. Sew. Read. Write. Become an artist.
Keep your mind busy and just do, do, do!
It took me a while to realize this, but I finally understand.
I now have so many hobbies, I can’t keep up to them all. I love sewing, and writing, and reading. I love photography, knitting, and quilting. I started a couple businesses.
I don’t have enough time in the day to get it all done. And I work full time too. But you know what? I love it! I don’t want to be bored, or have so much idle time that I drive myself insane with sadness and self-pity.
I don’t want to feel sorry for myself, wondering why the kids don’t come over enough. I don’t want to cry myself to sleep, feeling unloved and useless.
You know what that is? It’s an unhealthy mind. And you know where that leads? An unhealthy mind leads to an unhealthy body. And at this stage in the game, you can’t afford to lose any part of your health.
If you’re wondering what type of hobbies I do, I’ll leave a few links to my favorite ones at the end of this post.
I hope you give yourself the precious gift of self-discovery, and find what you are passionate about. I hope you realize that you DO matter, that you ARE important, and that you DO have a purpose once again!
It’s not too late to find the new YOU!
SEWING – Hobby # 1
I love quilting and sewing with my serger. Here are some of my completed projects.
I guess you can say I’m an artist because I don’t like to follow other people’s designs. These are all one of a kind originals.
You can find more like this on my sewing website called KatFit Stitch.
Writing! – Hobby # 2
In conclusion, I would like to say thank you for reading this blog. I hope I was able to encourage someone to be the best you can be, find out what you love, find your passion, and invest in the hobbies that will shape the new you!
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