My Grandmother’s Nails

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I don’t remember a lot about my grandmother but I do remember her nails. They were always painted bright pink and perfectly manicured. I admired her for that. She always looked put together because her nails were done.

I don’t know what it is about nails but they have power. They have the power to lift your mood, make you feel pretty, and give you confidence.

I didn’t use to think like that.

For most of my life, I ignored my nails. I dug in the dirt, played alongside my brothers, rode my horse, and did guy stuff. I didn’t pay attention to fancy things. In fact, I rolled my eyes at those girls who cried when they broke a nail.

I didn’t get into nails until my 50’s. I was too busy helping my husband shingle the roof, sand walls, or hold a greasy car part. And if I wasn’t doing that, I was scrubbing dirty cloth diapers for my three kids, doing dishes, or weeding my gigantic garden.

There was no time for nails, nor did I want to make time. It just wasn’t me.  

That’s why I find it funny that I’m so obsessed with nails now. Doesn’t it seem strange that I did an about-face? Why is that? I find it fascinating that this happened to me, so I decided to take a deep dive into why.

Some say only girly girls do their nails, but I busted that myth already. Remember? I was that tomboy girl who tore off her shirt on a hot summer day like her brothers, not realizing that’s not what little girls do. So no, that can’t be the reason.

So, what is it that makes a person want to do their nails?

Some say only those that don’t have to use their hands all day can pamper their nails. Who else could get away with coffin nails? Point taken, mine aren’t that long but I still grow them as long as I can get them. So… myth busted. I use computers at my job clickity-clicking all day long. Under normal circumstances, I shouldn’t even bother doing my nails, but I still do.

Why? And more importantly, why now?

I’ve come to the conclusion that my grandmother had something to do with my behavior. It took me my whole life to realize it, but I finally got it. She influenced me more than I realize.

That’s important, especially because I am a grandmother now. What I do can shape my grandchildren even if I don’t say a word. Kids copy everything. They are like sponges mimicking and repeating things adults say and do. They also understand way more than they let on.

I did.

I knew my mother and grandmother had issues. They often argued when she came over. I remember that made me feel sad. I just wanted everyone to love each other like all kids want. Instead of focusing on what was making me sad, I decided to focus on my grandmother’s beautiful, shiny, pink nails. THAT made me happy!

That thought shaped me into who I am today.

I find myself focusing on the good things instead of the bad. In the darkest hour, I can find that little glimmer of light. It’s a gift maybe. Or, maybe it’s my grandmother’s nails that forced me to see life’s bling when I couldn’t find it any other way.

And that’s my answer.

The only thing I couldn’t put my finger on was, why now? Why didn’t I realize that nails meant so much to me until I was in my 50s?

Simple. More than ever, a middle-aged woman needs to find what makes her happy. Often times she has to go back to her childhood to find herself again. Happiness is found in the heart of a child. What made you happy then will make you happy now.

In a time of menopause, wrinkles, and empty nest syndrome, it’s hard to find things that make you happy. If you let it, these huge life changes can make you sad. It’s now that you have to remember the things that you did when you were young.

For me, I remember how happy my grandmother’s pink nails made me feel. Sure, it’s just one of many things that make me happy, but it’s an important one. To me, my grandmother’s nails were like jewels. The sparkle and magnificence of them helped take my mind off my sadness and made me feel happy again.

That’s why I do my nails.

I want to feel happy again. When I have a bad day or I miss my kids, I do my nails. When I feel lonely and sad because my once busy household is now quiet, I do my nails. When my body lets me down and aches and pains consume me, I do my nails.

No matter how hard life gets, you can always do your nails.

It’s a great therapy! If you want to get into nails, my daughter sells Gelmoment. It brings me happiness and forces me to see life’s bling when I can’t find it any other way.